


Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful?

by jdjunkie



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Episode: s03e11 Past and Present, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-23
Updated: 2011-04-23
Packaged: 2017-10-18 13:27:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/189346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdjunkie/pseuds/jdjunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It felt like the start of something. And he really needed a beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful?

**Author's Note:**

> Mention of Daniel/Ke'ra and Daniel/Sha'uri.

He shouldn’ t have been surprised by the tears, but he was. Shocked, actually. Just as the tears were shocked out of him.

There was no build-up, no realization that the hot, choking feeling in his throat and eyes would manifest in salt and a sense of release that had little to do with the orgasm.

As he struggled to slow his breathing and gather his scattered, shattered thoughts, he strove to understand this most visceral of reactions, but there was too much going on in his head. Too many _“What happens now?” “Oh, Christ, what have we done?”_ thoughts to deal with before he could get to the simple matter of his response to the physical act of crying. In the grand scheme of important things, that was way down the list.

He didn’t understand the immediacy and depth of his emotional reaction. He felt he was drowning in his own vulnerability here.

It was a blowjob. A fucking simple blowjob.

Except it wasn’t. Nothing about it was simple, because the mouth that his cock had grown hard in, the tongue that had lapped him to orgasm and the lips that had kissed him afterwards belonged to Jack, and nothing about him and Jack was ever simple.

“It’s okay,” Jack said, his body weighting Daniel into the bed, Daniel’s bed.  Daniel’s bed in Daniel’s apartment after a day that could have seen the end of him, and Jack, too, for that matter. Jack would never have left that VIP room without taking Daniel with him. And if worst had come to worst, Jack would have stayed.

 Jack’s hand stroked Daniel’s hair from his forehead, then his thumb swept softly down to brush away the tears; at least, the ones that hadn’t soaked into his sideburns or forged a cold, damp trail down his neck.

Lots of tears. Who would have guessed?

Daniel closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing in and out, trying not think how his world view had shifted in the last couple of hours. He still wasn’t sure how they’d got to this point. How a semi-drunken, rambling defense of some pretty indefensible words and actions led to a sudden, white-hot moment of realization for both of them.

“Is it?” Daniel whispered, past the clogging in his throat. He wasn’t sure anything would ever be okay again. He’d just come in Jack’s mouth, flooded his throat with semen, cried his name over and over. And it was just a fucking simple blowjob.

Jack’s hand stroked a restless, aimless trail across Daniel’s face, tracing his cheekbone, brushing away more moisture, his thumb outlining Daniel’s lips before cupping his chin, then doing it all over again.

“It really is, Daniel.”

Ke’ra was gone, back to her life of forgetting. Maybe Daniel could forget one day, too, but right now it was all too raw and painful.  Every moment was etched like tendrils of crawling fire under his skin. Her lips were thin, her body slender and taut and eager for touch.  Starved of connection and affection, she’d overwhelmed him in the uncomfortable VIP suite bed. She’d mounted him, ridden him fast and hard with little finesse but an intensity that shook him. When she came, she mouthed his name silently and her eyes were open. They flashed bright with something, some feeling he couldn’t parse and certainly couldn’t share.

And he hadn’t cried.

He’d just felt hollow, drained. His orgasm was a dull twinge, the lovemaking – if you could call it that --  a dim, sad imitation of what he’d had with Sha’uri. Poor, lost, dead Sha’uri. He’d adored her intellect and humor and bravery, qualities he thought he’d seen in Ke’ra. Was he really that uncomplicated? That desperate? That he’d fucked, or been fucked by, the first woman who came along who reminded him even remotely of the woman he loved?

“Tell me this isn’t out of pity?” Daniel said, suddenly, needing to know in that very second, because he couldn’t bear another moment of Jack’s gentle fingers on his hungry skin if that was the case.

Jack tilted his head and stilled his hand. “Is that what you think?”

“Maybe. Yes. No ... I don’t  ...”

“It’s not.  It’s about a lot of things. For me. Things we don’t have to talk about now. Later, when things are less ... painful.” He resumed his stroking and shifted his body half off Daniel, hitching his bended leg over Daniel’s, maintaining contact.

“I wasn’t ... what we did. It meant a lot.”

Jack smiled, a small, corner-of-the-mouth smile that reached right to his eyes. He traced the last of the tears from Daniel’s eye to the hurdle of his upper lip in a gesture that said, _“I get that. You don’t need to say the words._ ”  Instead he whispered, “Me, too.”

“Is it okay if we sleep? I can’t think. I can’t ...”

And then Jack was turning him on to his side and spooning up behind and wrapping his arm around Daniel’s shoulder to pull him in closer. They shuffled and settled and Daniel felt the slide of cotton as Jack pulled up the sheet and covered them both. He tucked his head into the depths of the pillow and shifted away slightly from a damp spot. Tears got everywhere. He hoped they were good tears. He thought they were.

He slipped into the half-world between waking and sleeping, Sha’uri’s smile soft on the edges of consciousness, overlaying the look in Ke’ra’s eyes as she won her race to orgasm.

Jack kissed his neck, lightly. It felt involuntary. It felt right.

It felt like the start of something. And he really needed a beginning.

 

ends


End file.
